The Hidden Legal Risk of Caring for an Aging Parent

Adult children who spend years caring for aging parents increasingly face a bitter aftermath: lawsuits and accusations from siblings who stayed on the sidelines, according to estate attorneys and elder care experts.

The pattern often looks the same. A primary caregiver handles years of unpaid work, doctor visits, medication schedules and daily needs, while relatives who were largely absent resurface after the parent's death with accusations of financial misconduct or poor medical decisions. In some cases, those accusations turn into formal lawsuits.

The American Bar Association has warned that the situation will only intensify as Baby Boomers age and their estates pass to the next generation. Attorneys describe the coming wave of inheritance litigation as a "probate storm" that could stretch on for years.

Carol Bradley Bursack, a certified dementia support group facilitator and author, said family members who avoided caregiving duties are rarely satisfied by an explanation once the estate is settled. She said some are motivated less by suspicion than by resentment over what they see as a smaller inheritance.

A $124 Trillion Transfer At Risk

Financial researchers estimate that roughly $124 trillion will pass from Baby Boomers to younger generations in what has been dubbed the Great Wealth Transfer. But family conflict is one of the biggest threats to that money actually reaching heirs intact, according to industry researchers.

AARP research found that about one in three adults age 50 and older have experienced family conflict tied to inheritance after a loved one's death. When those conflicts escalate into litigation, legal fees, court delays and administrative costs can eat into the very assets the fight is over.

Larry Mandelker, a partner at Venable LLP, said the U.S. legal system allows almost anyone to be sued, regardless of merit, meaning caregivers can be forced to spend money defending themselves even when they win.

Unless a caregiver also serves as executor or trustee of the estate, covering legal costs typically falls on them personally. Executors and trustees, by contrast, can often draw on estate funds to pay for their defense.

The Emotional Toll Compounds The Financial One

Attorneys and caregiving advocates say the stress of facing legal action from family members, on top of years of caregiving sacrifice, can be devastating. Bursack recounted one caregiver she knew who had taken her mother, who had early-onset Alzheimer's disease, into her own home for years, only to face family betrayal afterward that contributed to a tragic outcome.

A 2024 Harris Poll of more than 1,000 U.S. adults found that 35 percent reported being estranged from an immediate family member, such as a parent or sibling, underscoring how common these ruptures have become.

How Caregivers Can Protect Themselves

Elder law attorneys recommend that adult children consult a lawyer before formally stepping into a caregiving role, ideally to establish power of attorney and other legal documentation early.

Patrick Simasko, an elder law attorney and financial adviser at Simasko Law, said caregivers should meet with an attorney before providing hands-on care so they understand what protections are available from the start.

Experts point to several steps that can reduce legal exposure:

• Keep detailed records. Save receipts, invoices and documentation for every reimbursement or expense related to a parent's care, including transportation and outside caregiving help.

• Communicate regularly with family. Sharing medical and financial updates on a consistent schedule, whether monthly or annually, can prevent surprises that fuel suspicion later.

• Draft a caregiver agreement. A written contract between parent and child that spells out duties and pay can convert an informal arrangement into a legal one, offering protection for both parties.

• Establish clear estate planning documents. Wills, powers of attorney and living wills, ideally created during private attorney meetings with the parent, provide the strongest evidence of a parent's actual wishes.

Scott Rahn, a partner at RMO LLP, said artificial intelligence tools can now help caregivers summarize financial records and produce reports to share with family, easing some of the administrative burden.

When There Is No Time To Plan Ahead

Caregiving responsibilities often arrive without warning, leaving little opportunity for the legal groundwork experts recommend. Bursack said family members thrust into sudden caregiving roles, often after a health emergency or a loved one's cognitive decline, rarely think to preserve receipts or keep detailed logs while they are already overwhelmed.

Even well-documented caregivers are not always spared a legal challenge, though courts tend to side with those who kept thorough records, she said. Bursack added that she hopes in-home care will eventually become a covered Medicare benefit, noting that unpaid family caregivers are estimated to save the government billions of dollars a year.

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