How Money Wrecks Friendship (and How to Keep Yours Intact)

Turns out it’s not politics or dating drama killing friendships these days — it’s Venmo requests.

A new LendingTree survey finds that more than one in three Americans (36%) have lost a friend over money. Two-fifths say money causes tension in their friendships, and nearly a third admit they’ve felt pressure to “keep up” with their friends’ spending habits.

In other words: nothing tests loyalty like splitting a dinner bill.

But here’s the kicker — even with all this financial fallout, people still can’t resist mixing money and friendship. Seventy-seven percent of respondents have lent money to a friend. A full third never got it back.

“Money is complicated, and it’s emotional,” said psychologist and financial therapist Traci Williams. “Friendships are some of our closest relationships, so it’s not surprising the two get messy.”

Friends, Funds, and Fallout

LendingTree’s findings echo a 2024 Bread Financial survey, which showed similar cracks in the wallet-friend dynamic. In that poll, 21% of people said they’d lost friends over money, and 65% admitted to breaking their budgets to keep up socially. Another 26% said they simply aren’t financially compatible with their friends — the new version of “It’s not you, it’s my FICO score.”

Even so, the invites keep coming. Nearly 70% of Americans have skipped a social event because of cost, but few talk about it. Cue the awkward dinner scene where one person silently seethes over the $22 cocktail they didn’t order.

“People get hurt when expectations aren’t met,” said Jessica Calaway of Bread Financial. “One person thinks a loan will be repaid, another thinks it’s a gift. Nobody talks about it until it’s too late.”

Venmo Is the New Trust Fall

Money talk might make boomers cringe, but younger generations seem fine with it. Seventy percent of millennials and 61% of Gen Z say borrowing from friends is no big deal, compared with just 38% of boomers.

“Younger people grew up where talking about money wasn’t taboo,” Calaway said. “There’s tension, but it’s not always bad tension.” Translation: Gen Z will casually split a $7 latte on Cash App while their parents would rather fake a bathroom break.

How to Stay Friends and Keep Your Wallet Intact

1. Don’t lend what you can’t afford to lose.
Experts say lending money to a friend can strengthen a relationship — until it doesn’t. If you hand over cash, assume it might not come back. And if you do lend, set clear expectations first. As LendingTree’s Matt Schulz put it: “It’s easier to talk about it up front than when things are on fire.”

2. It’s okay to say no.
If a friend asks for money and you’re not comfortable lending, that’s fine. Protect your finances first. Saying no doesn’t make you heartless — it makes you smart.

3. Ask for repayment — tactfully.
If you’re owed a chunk of cash, it’s fair to ask for it back. Apps like Venmo or Zelle make subtle nudges easy. A simple “Hey, can you send me your half for the Taylor Swift ticket?” works better than radio silence (or resentment). Just remember: tone matters more than the dollar amount.

4. Let the small stuff slide.
That $7 latte? Let it go. Nine in ten people in a Bustle survey said they wouldn’t bother Venmoing for less than $10. Friendship, ideally, shouldn’t run on microtransactions.

5. Split smart, not evenly.
At restaurants, everyone’s order is different — and no, your salad doesn’t equal someone’s steak and three cocktails. Speak up early or use one of the countless bill-splitting apps that exist precisely to prevent passive-aggressive math at the table.

6. Plan ahead for group trips.
If you’re heading to Vegas or a lake house with friends, budget talks aren’t optional. Make a shared spreadsheet or payment plan before the trip starts — because nothing ruins a vacation like fighting over who still owes for gas.

The Bottom Line:

Money might not buy happiness, but it can definitely buy resentment if you’re not careful. The bottom line: friendship and finances can coexist — as long as you treat them with the same thing every good relationship needs. Honesty.

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